Sueanne ♀

《幸福》

2009-08-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

我今天想和大家分享我讀過的一片故事.

-

《幸福》

這是我一輩子最幸福的事.應該說是我一輩子第一次感受到那樣的幸福.

雖然我年紀輕輕,雖然很多人都說這個年齡時不可能體會到真正的愛情,雖然很多人都說這個年紀的情侶都在欺騙自己,可是我非常清楚我那時候是真的愛上了他.不是喜歡也更不可能是好感而是純純的愛,從未有過的感覺.

就在他家.

在第20樓的那閒公寓裏,我就把女人最重要的寶物給了他.我心甘情願地把我第一次給了他.我也是奪走他第一次的人.

他那時候緊緊地摟著我,在我耳邊輕輕地對我說"我愛你"讓后親我額頭.那時候,我才終于明白什麽是幸福.

我們分手了.纏綿的4天后,我們分手了.

爲了忘了傷痛,我過後還談了不少次的戀愛然而沒有一段是可以長久的因爲我依然對他念念不忘.現在已經沒有心痛的感覺了.心痛轉換成思念.隨著歲月的流逝,他在我腦海裏留下的美好與疤痕已漸漸地淡去.我自己也慢慢地學會不再依靠男人來掩蓋他留下的傷痛,逐漸地獨立.我變得更堅強.成熟了不少.

我已不會再說他的是非也不會再可憐自己.

不會有第二個男人讓我感受到那般的幸福,也不會有第二個男人讓我流那麽多淚水.無論我倆怎麽否認有過這段緣份,怎麽否認曾經相識,兩個人就是這樣失去第一次.事情不可能再回頭從新演變一次,是想改變也改變不了的事情.不可能.

他昨晚離開了這個地方.我們應該再也不可能見到對方.這份短暫卻特殊的緣分就到此爲止了.

我曾經無條件深愛的人-XXX.

我生命中的小插曲.我最幸福的事.

-

晚安（：

♥,
Sueanne ♀

Fcking wannabe

2009-08-01T03:18:00.000-07:00

I didn't go to school for the whole of last week and my Blogger's still crazy.

I was down with H1N1 but have recovered now after taking 6 different Western medicines and 2 different Chinese medicines. ):

So far behind in my studies, least I don't need to see that Gemini bitch. (;

Lalala.

Will update later.

I HATE BLOGGER,
Sueanne ♀

& a few RANTS

2009-07-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

My blogger's still crazy but at least can update now. Its like the formatting of my create post section's all messed up :X

Past week has been relaxing. Went out with the girls for dinner a few times. Subway and Bugis. Went all the way to Bugis to get my stationary. Seriously, why can't Muji open a store closer to home, I'm such a loyal buyer after all despite their ridiculously high prices -.-

Just recovered from high fever (38.1 celcius) :s and my eyes were swollen till there was only a slit, like Voldemort's. Seriously, my huge eyes reduced to a SLIT. That's how bad it was. Just only recovered. Haven't gone to school for 2 days :\

My body.. ):

Oh, I absolutely HATE a certain Gemini. So fake and pretentious. Using and trying to get close to people just so she can climb up the social ladder. Yes, a she. She thinks I don't know she used me as well. Pathetic and pitiful I must say. I LOATHE such people. Attention seeking whore. I'm glad to say she's ugly (no really, I don't call someone ugly unless they REALLY are ugly) and we all know how LOOKS MATTER.

Boy, you people should really see the way she converses with people. Like she's so damned interested in their problems but its obviously faked. Can't explain it, have to see for yourself to get what I mean.

Honey, I'm going through high school the second time and I see RIGHT THROUGH YOU.

Guess who >=)

Losers in my life.

Lalalala.

Hate is a strong word peeps,
Sueanne ♀

ANGRY

2009-07-24T03:27:00.001-07:00

I've got LOADS to blog about but I can't because blogger's being an ASSHOLE!!

-.-

TREMBLING,
Sueanne ♀

What you looking at, loser?

2009-07-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

Have been staying at home watching dramas and reading novels for the past few days.

I've been a good girl.

我是宅女？

Hah.

-

Blogger's f-ed up in the posting section.

:\

-

Have been skipping PE and getting fairer.

(:

This nutcase girl in my school LATHERS SUNBLOCK all over herself.

Like half a bottle used? :S

-

Ex still thinks I care cause I blogged about it. Doesn't mean I care.

Just MUTHAFCKIN' PISSED.

DON'T YOU GET IT?

-

Life had been good. I miss the people I miss but no pain.

I'm happy.

-

Private blog redone.

With even MORE restricted entry but more juicy.

Contains the truth about the 15 exes.

Nothing but the truth and everything we did.

(;

Sorry for deleting you off blog readership. Only 5 people left.

www.sueanne-private.blogspot.com

-

Xx.

Kiss me through the phone,
Sueanne ♀

When I cut you out,

2009-07-19T04:24:00.000-07:00

Went to Cine@Orchard with my friends on Friday. Watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Its pretty decent. Don't know why so many people says it sucks. The book is waaaay better though. (; Got home at 12am.

-

Have been lazy to update.

Anyway, today that bitch got on my nerves again. Which one? My youngest uncle's spouse. The one that took my LV bag without asking and made a whole lot of noise when I took her shoes without asking (I was in a hurry, didn't see what I was putting on my feet, cheapass shit anyway).

If you remember that post.

I used two cups upstairs and since the maid went back already we all have to wash our own cups and bla bla. I washed my dishes. Forgot about the two cups. Bitch shouted at me to wash them. Zzz. I walked away.

That's what I do to people I really dislike. Pretend they don't exist, cut them out of my life. Don't even bother shouting or fighting, they're invisible to me. Her, my dad, the ex in the post before this. When I'm really really angry I don't pick up calls or reply sms-es so don't bother, seriously.

You see, if she had asked NICELY, I would've washed the cups. Needless to say, she was bitching at the top of her voice to everyone the minute I walked out the door. Continue barking. I do NOT give a rat's ass.

In case you don't know, 我吃軟的，不吃硬 (:

-

I honestly don't care what my family members choose to say about me anymore. To me, my dad is a lost cause. Till today he doesn't know I know about him bitching. Why? Cause I don't bother confronting. As I said, I cut him out. This woman means nothing of course. My grandmama's bitching about her day and night anyway.

When I cut someone out COMPLETELY, I don't talk to them at all (my dad have to la cause well -.-). Don't bother correcting what they think of me. They can say whatever they want about me being disobedient or that I'm throwing my future away. Bollocks.

I'm not being stubborn or ignorant here. I get the best results and I know where I'm headed in life (if my dad funds my higher education). And I DO know my attitude problems. I'm trying to mend them. I don't need you to tell me what's wrong or what to do cause I'm old enough to know my flaws and what's right or wrong.

I DO know what's right and what's wrong, I DO know the consequences of my actions. I just CHOOSE to do so sometimes. Perhaps cause I'm young and reckless or just plain curious. So stop bugging/lecturing me cause I KNOW what I'm doing.

-

That's why I HATE HATE HATE it when someone whom I've cut out of my life (and knows it) interferes with my life. That's why I was so pissed at the ex in my previous post. We made a MUTUAL DEAL to stay away from each other's lives and he thinks its all a game.

Cheatin', lyin' ex whom I cut out too is STILL talking about our story. He just told my friend that day that the only reason he was with me was for revenge. Wtf?! Since when have I offended him before we were together. Screw that. He was long forgotten anyway.

This bitch can continue barking cause as I said, she doesn't exist to me anymore.

Seriously, if I cut you out from my life I mean it. I don't tell people to fuck off from my life if I don't mean it. If we could still be friends I wouldn't say that. So please, if I have asked you to fuck off then FUCK OFF.

No, no such thing as second chances once I've made THAT decision. You must've done something really horrible to come to that.

-

Off to watch my dramas. Nights.

Have I given up on you?
Sueanne ♀

GET A LIFE DUDE

2009-07-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

An ex (not cheatin', lyin' ex) whom have chosen to cut all friendship ties or whatever ties with me is pissing me off. We aren't on talking terms anymore and I've treated him like a stranger for as long as I can remember.

Remember how I was late one week for school as I missed 2 flights? The fello went and asked my friend whether I'm coming back. When my friend said yes but maybe later, the fello said "Oh such a pity, I was hoping she would NEVER come back".

WTF.

Like, what's your problem DUDE. You "don't know" me and neither do I. Why out of the blue come and fuck me up like this. If you don't wanna see me then hurry up and haul your ass to fucking US.

I don't wish to see you anymore as well. Because everytime I look at your face, I am reminded of all the mistakes I've made. But you taught me lessons and in a way you made me a better person. You stopped me from cursing and made me quit smoking and clubbing. All because I loved you at that time. But not anymore.

Then, I re-added him on MSN and Facebook cause I was pretty damned pissed. He deleted and blocked again. HAH. He even asked my friend to TELL ME that he deleted and blocked me. He told my friend he wants to make me hate him.

What the hell. Childish much?

THEN, he tells everyone I added him on MSN and Facebook again BUT he deleted and blocked me. Laughing stock man. Very proud he deleted and blocked me. A round of applause for him please. For showing how bloody shallow he is.

Basically, I've come to the conclusion that he's too bored so he has to come up with these ridiculously childish "games", like to try make me hate him. ???!! GET A LIFE. He IS kinda busybody so its no surprise.

Just, WHY ME? WHY??!!!!!!! GET OFF MY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was living a fairly peaceful life with my loving girlfs before this. Yes, I think of him sometimes but THAT'S IT. I DON'T miss him and neither do I want him back. I don't even ask for friendship. I just take him as a stranger, a stranger I will never get to know.

So what if you have your whole gang? So what if you think you're ALL that? I'm sick and tired of giving in to you. I've given in every single time. Shed more tears for you than for any other ex. Maybe I've given in too much but NOT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He even told people that whenever he sees me his "BODY STARTS TREMBLING". Yes, exact words. And he is "SCARED" of me. Wow, I'm so bloody SCARY. I eat children for breakfast and old people for dinner. He thinks I wanna have him for LUNCH. -.-

Obviously, this is his pathetic effort of trying to make himself look like the victim. As if we all can't see through that honey.

Seriously, I'm pissed. Wrote him a very angry email because I can't sit here and swallow the shit he's throwing me anymore. I have never done something like that to ANYONE (seriously), neither have I ever bad mouthed him in this blog.

I had a good mind to go to his house and scream at him but what's the point. I'm not a vile person despite what many of you people think. That's why I let everything go. But this is the LAST STRAW.

-----

He's changed. The person I fell in love with did not use vulgarities, who'd bring an extra sweater for me when we went to the movies, who'd tell me nice stories about his family.

But now he's someone who uses the word "fuck" just for the SAKE of using it, acts like he's above everyone else, who thinks I'm DIRTY, who thinks he's too good to know a friend like me.

The person I fell in love with has died. And yet he thinks I'm not over him.

I don't need him to tell me to hate him. Because I don't want to hate him, love him, like him, dislike him and neither do I want him back or have him in the centre of my heart. I just don't want to care about him anymore. I don't want to acknowledge his exsistence at all. And I expect him to do the same.

No, it doesn't hurt. It's more like a RELIEF. I want him OUT OF MY LIFE.

Hating the person only shows you still care, its indifference that proves you have nothing for that person anymore.

Yes, I've fought for him before. Yes, I've given in to many times. Yes, I was practically his lapdog. Yes, I've kept the secret desire to be his friend again someday.

But now, my only wish is for him to go to US ASAP. What hopes of friendship? I've burned them all. Heck, I even wish I never knew him.

The boy I knew and fell in love with has DIED.

-----

This is the boy I gave everything to.

Taiwanese,
Sueanne ♀

:\

2009-07-15T07:40:00.000-07:00

So lazy to update.

I did hair e3xtensions again. Not as long as last time but thicker. Looks nicer this way, I think. (:

Having flu and sore throat and ear pain on one side only. Urghhhh. Is it swine flu? :\

Hate being sick,
Sueanne ♀

Fate

2009-07-13T07:34:00.000-07:00

I have a story to tell. It concerns (probably) the most fateful night of my life.

Form 2 Campfire Night. Full of shit and drama. When I was just an immature 14 year old who thought she was at the top of the world.

I was with my second boyf at that time. Lets call him A.

That night, I had a choice to go to a midnight movie with A or follow this senior girl to a club (I was still young and innocent). I ditched A and followed my senior to the club. On the way there, A kept calling and said he bought the tickets already even though he didn't want to go in the first place.

Did I turn back? No. And because I didn't turn back, the night led to my first ever cigarette and my first "clubbing" experience (Qbar, which is replaced by CocoBanana now).

If I had turned back, perhaps I wouldn't have broken up with A. If I had turned back, I might have had a long term relationship. If I had turned back, I might still be the innocent, clean girl. If I had turned back, I would not be like how I am today.

Ahh, all the what ifs in the world ey.

I have never realized how that night changed my life so drastically until last 2 weeks when my chickenkiller babe Naomi sat down and serious talked with me about life and relationships. That got me thinking back on how I ended up living the life I live today.

Do I regret my ruthless, careless decision that night? I honestly don't know. I don't think so. I'm just curious how things would've turned out if I had picked the other path on that fateful night exactly 3 years ago.

Hmm.

Always have faith

Mmm

Kiss me through the phone

Ooooh

My story to tell,
Sueanne ♀

FINALLY, updates of the prolonged holidays (;

2009-07-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

After procrasinating for God knows how long, I've finally got my lazy ass off the couch to update on my one and a half month (I took extra 2 weeks off ;p) holidays.

LOOOOONG POST AHEAD.

30-5-2009 (Saturday)
Reached KLIA by 8.30pm by flight. Made daddy bring me and bro for Korean BBQ. Pricey but soooo yummy :D

Tired from flight

Delicious egg thingy

Some of the many side dishes

BBQ :D

Clean

31-5-2009 (Sunday)
Went over to Naomi's place for a loooong sleepover. Her mum showed us these awesome cigarettes she brought from her business trip to Jakarta.

Okay, I know Virginia Slims are avalaible in Spore but the Marlboro Black Menthols are the MOST ICY MENTHOLS EVER. Even better than Marlboro Fresh Mints/Ice Mints. And the box become the colour of Marlboro Reds when taken with negative mode.

Normal mode

Negative mode

Then we went for dinner at Hartamas Square with Lewis. Had Shisha and this EVIL PIZZA that made me faint. Seriously. Blacked out at Hartamas :S Thank God Naomi was there.

All dolled up

Shishaaaaaa
Bubblegum (;

Evil pizza and our drinks

Naomi and I

Lewis and Naomi

1-6-2009 (Monday)
Went to JH's house for drinking session. Played "superman, batman, spiderman, ultraman" -.- and drink and dare :S. Horrific results. Forgot to take pics.

2-6-2009 (Tuesday)
Went over to Justin's house for a drinking session. Met up with Cassidy there too and went to Devi's Corner at Hartamas after that to yumcha cause we were hungryyyy. Justin's now in Australia and we missss youuuuu (:

Before going out

Guess which exboyf :p

Guess which ex boyf (;
HAHAHA

Justin's place

Big smiles to the world :D

Justiiiiiin (:

Justin's place

Pleasure of the night

After yumcha-ing at Devi's Corner, we went for a second round of drinking at JH's house. The boys came to pick us up and we were off from Hartamas to USJ5 again.

Me, Naomi and Jeyue

Me, Naomi, Jeyue

3-6-2009 (Wednesday)
We woke up at 5pm and went to MidValley for dinner. Ate at Esquire Kitchen, absolutely yummaaay :D

In car

Silly me

HAHAHA

In car

Awesomeee dinner (:

Reached home at 11 something. 30 minutes upon reaching home, we were off to Barce with the boys from JH's house. Who says girls can't get ready fast ey (;

Naomi and I

Me and Jeyue

Naomi

Naomi and I

Zwei, me and Naomi

...

Naomi and I

Jeyue and Naomi

Willy and Naomi

(:

o.o

(;

(:

Naomi and I in car

Jeyue and Naomi

4-6-2009 (Thursday)
Only managed to get back to Naomi's house at 10am from the night before after we sleptover at JH's house. Bloody tired as I stayed awake the whole time. Slept at 12pm after showering and stuff and woke up around 8pm.

Was supposed to go MOS but fate decided against it for us :S Ended up going to Tekkin's house instead. Followed the boys to some dodgy black market before getting stoned as hell at the house in Sierramas. So stoned that we couldn't even follow the movie we were watching, "My Best Friend's Girl".

No pics.

5-6-2009 (Friday)
Went out for yumcha with Jiarong and Shaun Yap at Canai Cafe.

Fooooood

On the patio

In the car

After yumcha the 4 of us went up to Bandar Puteri with beer and emo-ed at the spot overlooking the whole of Subang. Breathtaking (:

At the top

View

6-6-2009 (Saturday)
Club hopped between Barce and MOS, phew.

Started the night with Clarence, Zhouwei all then met up with more people at MOS and somehow got seperated from them. Then off to Barce and met up with Zwei all. I think it was like that, seems like such a long time ago :S

Home

Barce

Home

15 year olds in Pyramid (;

MOS

MOS
I'm the last one on the right

MOS

Kming

Naomi and Zwei at Barce

7-6-2009 (Sunday)
Both of us wokeup at 7pm. And I fell into Naomi's fish pond when sitting at the patio! :O

Went to Pyramid for dinner and movie. Had dinner at KimGary's. Met up with Adenauer and NJ there and the 4 of us watched Terminator 4.

BFF charm bracelets ♥

Naomi and I at KimGary's

Our fooood

Classic toilet shot

After our movie,we went to StationOne@Taipan for yumcha with Tan and Mark Ian. Reached home around 3am and we were still hungry so we waited till 4am to order McDs breakfast :D Delish.

McDs :D

I look like an idiot -.-

7-6-2009 (Sunday)
Left Naomi's place and went home tonight as we're going on a family trip to Pangkor the next day.

8/9/10-6-2009 (Mon/Tues/Wed)
Spent 3 days at Pangkor. Horribly long ferry rides, great buffet dinner, wonderful beach (though I only go to the beach when the sun is setting in fear of getting tanned :S).

In ferry

Ferry
I love my blood red nails

Ferry

Played my bro's Xbox every night
GTA4 :D

Pool

Pool then beach

...

Restaurant

Buffet baby

Bro

Pool at night

11-6-2009 (Thursday)
Got home from Pangkor at 8pm and picked Naomi up from her place to my place for a sleepover. Went for yumcha with Adenauer and Mark Ian at Kopitian@Taipan. Were the last ones to leave when we left at 1.30am (;

Then off to Tekkin's house at around 2am. Met up with Bryan, Gray and others there. Something exciting happened at around 3/4am but its a secret the THREE of us will keep :p

Naomi and I

Naomi and Bryan@Tekkin's house

Me and Bryan

Left the place with Gray and Bryan for McD breakfast around 8am. Reached home at 11am.

Naomi managed to drag her ass to AC to meet up with Callista while I kong-ed on the bed till she came home at 4pm and woke me up. Had an eye infection when I woke up.

Camwhored in our jammies.

Naomi and I@my room

12-6-2009 (Friday)
Went over to Tekkin's again at 8pm despite my eye infection. The others were at Boiler's so me, Byran, Naomi and Gray waited till they came back in the house. Met TommyChak in the middle of a session. And tried something new. Nice but no more no more :S Heh.

Me and Naomi

Gray and Naomi

Naomi and I

Me and Gray

Tekkin and Naomi (;

Didn't sleep the whole night as usual and only got home at 12pm with only 10 minutes to get ready.

13-6-2009 (Saturday)
Managed to get ready in 10minutes time and headed off to Pavillion with Naomi's family. Will get both my Guccis soon. The one that I'll use as a schoolbag first then the fancier one. (: Sleptover at Naomi's house that night. Body damn heaty from no sleep the night before.

14-6-2009 (Sunday)
Left Naomi's place after lunch to a doctor. Today's the last day of hols for Msian high school kids. (;

15-6-2009 (Monday)
Slept all day and woke up in the evening to have dinner with Naomi, Tija, Callista and Sam at OldtownKopitiam@Taipan.

Me, Naomi, Tija

Had yumcha with the boys from JH's place at Tanjung later that night and went home around 11pm.

Went out again for yumcha with WeiJuan the old friend at StationOne@SS15 later on and reached home at 2am.

17-6-2009 (Wednesday)
Didn't sleep all night :S And went over to Naomi's place at 9am. Woke Naomi and Tija who was staying there up for dimsum cause it was Naomi's bday (:

Best dimsum ever
Excluding the ones at Guangzhou, China (;

HAPPY BDAY NAOMI! :D

Bday babe (;

Then all 3 of us napped on the basement couch till afternoon. Woke up and went to MidValley for dinner at Esquire Kitchen again (; Deliciousssss.

The fooooood (:

After dinner we head back to Naomi's place to cut her cake with her family (:

The delicious ChocMudCake from SecretRecipe

Happy 17th
I'm in blue (;

Nice (:

Tija and I left for home after midnight.

18-6-2009 (Thursday)
Slept all day. Woke up and went yumcha with Adenauer and Mark Ian at Naili's Place@Taipan.

19-6-2009 (Friday)
Slept for 3 hours only. Woke up at 11am to go AC to meet up with Naomi after her school ended. Came back to my place after that and napped till 7pm.

Went to Souled Out@Hartamas then over to Tekkin's place again that night.

Me and Naomi before going

Naomi and I at SouledOut

Sleptover there and woke up in the morning to this MAGGOTS on Tekkin's study table in his room. Why? Because of a dustbin piled up with rotten food, no emptying it for a month :S

Ze cause

Ze solution

Pour gas all over table
White stuff is actually maggots :S

And start burning!

Burrrrrrn (:

Maggots gone

20-6-2009 (Saturday)
Woke up at 8am the next day after 2 hours of sleep because someone wouldn't let me sleep -.-

We were so hungry that I finally couldn't tahan so I tried my luck at making egg sandwiches for Naomi and Tommy. Succeeded in frying the eggs :D

Fireeeee

Went back to Naomi's place at 3pm and rushed like MAD to get ready for her birthday lunch that afternoon.

Was held at Shokolat@Mont Kiara. Dessert Bar (:

Yummay (;

Mmm (;

TommyChak

Babe (:

21-6-2009 (Sunday)
Happy Father's Day (: Though can't be sweet and all to my dad cause he has talked so much shit and ruined me so bad. Read the story.

Anyway, I didn't know about his bitching yet. Went to OU with family and shopped :D Got almost everything I wanted.

Father's Day present? Letting him swipe his credit card uncountable times for my shopping. Loves. HAH.

22/23/24/25-6-2009 (Mon/Tues/Wed/Thursday)
Stayed at home like a good girl. Went for a few yumcha sessions throughout the week and had dinner with my godmum and Shermaine. Yep, thats about it for the whole week (:

26-6-2009 (Friday)
Supposed to get on the plane and fly back to Spore today. But noooooo, I missed my flight. Did it for the boyf at that time but now I'm relieved its over. The taxi man didn't show up anyway so I went to AC to meetup with Naomi and went back to her place after that (:

27/28/29/30/1/2/3/4-6/7-2009 (Sat/Sun/Mon/Tues/Wed/Thurs/Fri/Saturday)
Basically did nothing. Lazed around at home, waking up at 2pm onwards everyday and watching loads of TV (FYI, I haven't watched TV in 2 years, serious shit (;).

Broke up some time this week, I think it was a Friday/ Saturday? Went to OU a few times for dinner.

On our way to OU

Went to KK twice for stuff. And also the usual AC on Friday. KK camho pics.

Naomi and I

Bryan and I

Me and Naomi

Me in Bryan's cap

Naomi and Gray

Me and Naomi

Naomi and I

OMI (;

Me and Bryan

Even followed Naomi to school one of those days. Thank God she had lots of free periods. Waited for her in the canteen and went home early from school with MUCH regret later on :\

SriKL's toilet
Muahaha

*More pictures with Naomi, will update those later

5-7-2009 (Sunday)
Missed my flight AGAIN cause I wanted to spend my bday in Msia. Soooo I missed a whole week of school :S

6/7/8-7-2009(Mon/Tues/Wednesday)
Spent all my time at Naomi's place. Waking up late, TV and waiting for her to get back from school. She skipped 3 times this week for her artfolio. Stress :S We have no energy to go out anymore at this point :S Staying away from KK, willpower and determination (:

Managed to do it, didn't go back to that place anymore.

*More pictures soon! (:

9-7-2009(Thursday)
I'm finally 17! :D

Feel so old and nearing the end of teen years :\ Hmm. I've never liked celebrating my bday. Was supposed to go out for dinner with friends but was too lazy so settled with a cake at Naomi's place instead.

17 years ago, I was born. 17 years ago, I no one would've thought I would end up this way. Hah.

-

That pretty much sums up my extremely loooong holiday because I missed my flight twice. Its the 11th of July today and I just got back to Spore. 7.50pm flight and reached home at 9pm from the airport.

Wait for the pictures from Naomi (;

ANNOUNCEMENT: I was thinking about reviving my old blog cause I can't stand the way I can't express myself fully in this blog. Decided against that but will be blogging the way I used to in this blog. Well, not as notorious but better than the shit I've been writing ever since I created this blog (;

Hope everyone had a fantastic hols as well,
Sueanne ♀

On the brink of it

2009-06-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

I don't understand a lot of things.

I don't understand why does he always shout at me.
I don't understand why I will never live up to his ex girlf's standards.
I don't understand why is he so rude to me.
I don't understand why he thinks I'm angry when I'm sad.
I don't understand why he doesn't seem to care.
I don't understand why I seem to be the one making all the effort.
I don't understand why I believe in his promises.
I don't understand the sad, suffocating feeling in me when I wake up everyday.
I don't understand why I still care.

Is this what every boyf does? Is this normal? I don't know, I don't understand.

Maybe deep down I do understand but I choose to ignore it.

I am stupid.

-

My day went slow but okay.

I'm tired,
Sueanne ♀

Important

2009-06-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

Long rant.

I'm f*cking PISSED at my DAD now.

I swear I'm never talking to him again. And yes, I hate him. So very much.

No, its not because of some stupid lameass reason like "CAUSE HE WON'T GET ME THAT TOP!" etc.

MY FATHER TOLD THE WHOLE WORLD (specifically my close friends' parents) THAT I'M A GOLDDIGGING SLUT AND A DRUG ADDICT.

Yes, those were the EXACT WORDS he used.

So he called up all of my close friends' parents and told them to try advice me and shit because I take drugs and "go after rich men, trying to hook up with them for money". Exact words.

He said before he'd help me when I'm in trouble, only HE will be there when I need help. BULLSHIT.

My reputation is not being destroyed further by my enemies (or friends) BUT by my OWN FATHER. WHAT THE FUCK.

I tried to persuade him to let me come back here study because I bloody HATE Singapore. EVERYONE knows that. You should've seen the way I begged and cried to him so I could stay back here. Only Naomi saw how I cried and got down on my knees to beg.

I said I wanted to go to SriKL because my friends are there and its one of the few schools that has O Levels (IGCSE), same shit I'm doing now. YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID? He said its because I want to know MORE rich men so I can golddig further. WHAT THE FUCK, seriously.

FYI DADDY, I know so many people there it isn't necessary for me to transfer there if I really wanted to golddig. AND do you think I'd BEG SO HARD just to GODDIG?? Besides, people in my school are FAR richer. INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL. If I had wanted to golddig, I'd have done it in SINGAPORE.

He also said if I INSISTED on coming back here, he'll NOT let me study anymore and MAKE me work in McDs for the REST OF MY LIFE. I'm a straight A student, I have interest in my studies and he's talking about stopping my education.

But even when I'm in Singapore, he's calling my aunt everyday threatening to send me back to Malaysia. To a REFORM school. Teachers never call him to complain or anything but he keeps disturbing my aunts with these threats.

Let me tell you people a secret. The real reason why he wants SO BADLY to stop me from studying and having a future is because he has a girlfriend. And he values her more than me. No studies, no need to spend money on education. Simple, get it? Talk about selfishness man.

Yes, he WANTS me to stop schooling. I'm not kidding here.

& just because I like to talk about DRUGS doesn't mean I take the shit. Its a fascinating topic, especially when most of your friends take em'. Hmm.

Don't tell me to cut my dad some slack or SHIT. Because how would YOU feel if your dad went around TELLING EVERYONE your shit when in front of you he's crooning and saying you're improving and becoming a good girl.

FUCKING BACKSTABBER THATS WHAT.

So what if he's my father? Does YOUR father do this shit to you? Is a father SUPPOSED to behave in such a way?

Don't tell me he's doing it for my own good because we all know his ulterior motives behind all this. Like why he wants me to stop schooling so badly.

Thank God the people he told thinks HE'S paranoid and crazy (yes, as in mental patient kind of crazy). They also think he's goddamned IRRESPONSIBLE for not trying to SOLVE his own problems (problems=me).

Calling up every single person he can and telling them I'm a slut/whore/ho/golddiger/druggie. Won't let me come back to Malaysia cause he doesn't want to take care of me. Wanting to send me to reform school (for what reason man?) because he wants to pretend I never existed.

I'm neither exaggerating nor lying here. This new blog was supposed to be a nice, happy, clean blog but I HAVE to rant about this. Thats why every word I pen down here is TRUE.

The people he told are instead supporting me to NOT give up on my studies and don't let my dad's psychotic antics get in the way of my future.

The most disgusting thing is that he can act like an angel in front of me when behind me he's bitching like CRAZY.

He HATES me coming back for holidays you know. All he does is lecture me on how expensive my school fees/airplane fees are. And how I spend his money (when I haven't even took any from him). Thats why I HATE staying at home. I'm rarely at home during hols, always at a friend's place.

My brother can buy an Xbox360 and he will NOT say anything about it. I ask to buy BodyShop products (its what I use and mine finished) and he nags like a bitch. My brother defies him like mad and he NEVER talks shit about him.

Not sibling rivalry here, I love my brother but at the rate my dad's bitching about me in front of my brother (saying I'm mad and I have Bipolar Disorder, please Google it), my brother will never respect me the same way.

My dad is NEVER meeting my boyf because he'll tell my boyf I'm after his MONEY and that he should leave me. Mark my words he'll say that. I know him better than anyone.

He knows NOTHING about me and is too selfish to try to understand me thats why he's bitching to everyone about how horrible I am. Pretending to be the poor old man who is bullied when no one knows who's the one thats really suffering and suffocating in this goddamned house.

Know why am I always skinnier when I come back to Malaysia? Because he doesn't buy lunch for me. I eat unhealthy McD delivery EVERYDAY or I starve. Like really no food kind of STARVE.

I have no respect for my father at all now as he obviously has none for me (he can spread that I'm a SLUT). To me, he's just another pervert down the road.

No, nothing can mend our relationship anymore because I'm too hurt and disappointed. It just proves further that you can trust NO ONE. Not even family, especially men who value lust more than flesh and blood.

I won't even bother confronting him about this whole issue cause what's the point? He can continue bitching and trying to rip my reputation even further apart and I honestly couldn't care less cause these people think HE'S the one thats crazy.

How do you think I'd know about these things anyway? Because the people he told are telling me and supporting me instead.

Thank you for reading.

Can't live this lie anymore,
Sueanne ♀

)':

2009-06-24T22:24:00.000-07:00

I WANT THAT F-ING BAG. :'(

NO ONE'LL HELP ME.

UNHAPPY.

Sighhhhh,
Sueanne ♀

Give me a clue

2009-06-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

Boys who feed me drugs and cigarettes♥

I want to trust, really. );

Updates sooooooon,
Sueanne ♀

Help

2009-06-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

This blog isn't a place for me to pen down my true thoughts and emotions anymore. It can never be as fun and quirky and a tad bit insulting as before.

I'll try to explain this random-ness someday but please bear with me for now.

Xx.

I can't reveal,
Sueanne ♀

Rumours, I give up

2009-06-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

HEARTBROKEN.

I was really serious.

Stop the tears,
Sueanne ♀

Ihateyou

2009-06-14T04:14:00.000-07:00

Hello world.

Just got home. Sick as hell now. Was awake for 40hours and didn't eat for 3days. Lost 4kg in 3 days so now I'm 40kg :D

Past two weeks have been crazyyy. Will update when I get well, xxx.

Will get well soon,
Sueanne ♀

2009-06-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

I'm having a full blown crush on someone now. The last time I've had this feeling was with 13 year old. Not cheatin' lyin' ex, not Taiwanese. But he has a crush on someone else? Heartbreaking but I'll live♥

-

Oooookay, I know I've been MIA-ing for quite awhile again. Usually like this during hols.

Just got back from NaomiBaloneyyy's ;) house last night. The past week has been crazyyy. Going out allnight till 7/8am then sleeping all day till 6/7pm. Grrrrr. So now I'm having MAJOR insomnia problems. Its now 6.40am in the morning and I havent't slept.

How the hell am I gonna go back to school?

I've been a good girl. No smoking, only clubbed twice the past week because there were events. Mostly drinking sessions and yumcha.

Pics and details shall be up soon. Can't upload cause I didn't bring the damned USB cable back with meeeee. So no pics no updates. Gonna go Pangkor with the family till Friday when its 9am, which is in 2 hours.

I can hear the birds chirping now. -.-

I wish I was more un-shy when meeting new people. ;\

Anyway, here are my usual boring roll of webcam pics since I have no pics of my nights to entertain the few readers that still remain. Hah.

Freshed faced

Heh heh

Stupid curly hair

This is why I always tie my hair up

:-*

Thankyou for all the invites to MOS on Thursday but I won't be around and I don't club much anymore. And honest;y, I think MOS SUCKS. Its just a NAME, the BRAND of it. ;)

& Happy Bday AaronOngWeiQuan. (:

So loooong till Friday, xx.

You have my love,
Sueanne ♀

Miss my bolster D:

2009-05-31T03:26:00.001-07:00

Home sweet home

I'm BACK!! Since yesterday. Went home like a good girl. First time hols I didn't go clubbing on my first night back.

My life is boring now since I swore off clubbing and coupling and smoking. :\

Went for Korean BBQ with dad and bro after I landed. There are pics but I didn't bring my USB cable so yeah.

I DO have a stretch of webcam pics AGAIN. O.O

Finally a different background

Haha

...

Spastic

Bare teeth

...

This is getting addictive. @.@To take a stream of webcam pics and post it all here. This is how shitty I actually look at home. Muahaha.

Ahhh, webcam pics too. Maybe I'm too lazy to upload from phone/camera anymore. ):

Har har

...

I'm really quite lifeless.

Going over to Naomi's tonight so won't be online for a loooong time, xxx.

Picturesque,
Sueanne ♀

Granny hairstyle O.O

2009-05-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

Hello :D

6 in the morning baby, unable to sleep.

:\

...

:-*

-.-

不要去想一個不認識的人。

Will be leaving this shit place in a few hours, xxx.

No one to send me off this time,
Sueanne ♀

Number 3 ):

2009-05-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 12.25pm. Stayed at home all day. Last day of school today.

Watched my dramas. LAST CD COULDN'T WORK. $^#@&*$^(*#@&$*( SHIT. LAST EPISODE WEYH. )):

Nevermind.

Ohhh, hacked into the system and found everyone's reports. Haha. GODDAMNED DISAPPOINTED in my Maths and Chinese. Both 50+. No 60+. WALAO EY. If both of those higher my total average could hit 80+. T.T

Number 3 in class. Could be better, sigh.

SEE IF LOVE DIDN'T INTERFERE WITH LIFE THINGS WOULD BE WAY BETTER. >=(

Remarks say I need to control my emotions. I know... ):

Anyways, going back tomorrow!! Woho, Korean BBQ dinner first thing after I land. Daddy promised. No more clubbing and shits this hols. I quit for real. Unless its events or friends' party.

;D

尋回自己。

I hate technology,
Sueanne ♀

SATURDAY SATURDAY :D

2009-05-28T07:20:00.001-07:00

Have been skipping school and going out these few days. Lazy to write everything here. Most of my friends have returned to their home countries already. I'm returning on Saturday. Reaching KLIA at 8pm. ;D

Pretty satisfied with my results. Still hating Chinese for pulling my average down. If it weren't for it I'd get 80+ on my average. Regret not putting in more effort on Maths, Bio and Chemistry. Did exceptionally well on all other subjects. Failed none, as usual.

Damnit, should have put it more effort. Should have checked papers, then there wouldn't be any careless mistakes. ):

Nevermind, lesson learnt.

I will make it in life someday. Saying to all the useless exes and people who wanna see me die. ;)

很多人問我爲什麽現在有人追都還是選擇單身。那是因爲我單身得很幸福。

Put more effort in next term,
Sueanne ♀

清白

2009-05-25T03:48:00.000-07:00

很多人或許會說我很輕易換男朋友，會說我換男朋友好像換衣服似的。不過，我並不那麽認爲。

我在每段戀情都真的有努力過，雖然會任性了點可是歐有著想跟那個人長久的念頭。我也不是看男人錢來決定男朋友的人，是這樣的話我早就釣了許多凱子。喜歡看人家錢包只是一個習慣而已，看到一個人的錢包可以看出他的性格，是有這麽一個心理測驗。

我錢多的很，才不需要靠男人的錢來過生活。或許偶爾想被男朋友請，想有朋友請客。可是我覺得那都是正常的吧？也從來不強逼男人或朋友請我客。

我倒認爲有些男人是爲了面子虛僞地愛請客，然後到處亂説“這個女人都不拒絕我請客”類是的話。你想請客，我不會拒絕除非真的很不好意思。既然沒有真正想請客的意思哪就別因爲想顯出自己的好而請客然後倒出亂説話。

又沒有誠意，又卑鄙。

輕易地換男朋友？太荒唐的話吧。又沒有20幾個男朋友。就因爲我最近的戀情之長達19天而且那男的是很多人認識的所以說我輕易換男朋友？周霖峰是因爲要回國，因爲劈腿我們才會分手。而另外那個男的呢，我也是盡了全力可是最後還是性格不合。之前那個13嵗的是因爲年齡問題。

我又沒劈腿，又不是因爲渴望男人才一直交男朋友，更沒有亂亂分手。或許是我換男朋友隔離的時間太短了吧。那又能如何？我非常討厭搞曖昧。所以都會盡快做決定，打算接不接受一個人。長期搞曖昧然後談戀愛有意思嗎？只會讓心裏越難熬。

接受一個人之前，我都會先查個清楚他是不是個好人。我才不是那種誰來追我就接受誰的那種人，才沒有那麽的隨便。都有經過慎重的考慮后才開始一段戀愛，而且都很努力。我很容易相信別人。我也沒有去跟別人告白的那種擔子，生平只又一次那麽做而那是因爲我真的忘不了他那個前男友。

單身了一個月多，拒絕了三個人。生活也輕鬆多。不會再輕易地接受別人了，現在是真的挖清她的底才接受。目前的追求者沒有一個是值得接受的，不是傲慢是不想讓人家再讓自己失望了。

活了17年，真的經歷過很多挫折。很多是不可以對大衆說出口。我知道我現在雖然還不算上堅強，可是比起以前的我已經很堅強了。再也不會那麽愛哭，愛閙。

寫這篇文章，不是想取得大家的同情心、強逼大家對我改觀或什麽的。我只是認爲我應該還有那個資格寫出自己的真心話，試著取回自己的清白。讀者怎麽想都與我無關。我不是那種裝個可憐模樣對全世界人說“相信我！相信我！”的女孩子。

馬來妹，加油。

單身萬歲，
Sueanne ♀

Demons and Angels

2009-05-24T06:38:00.000-07:00

Went to Sentosa and Escape@Pasir Ris today for a friend's farewell party/outing. 12 of us. Sentosa was hot and pretty boring. Sat the Luge for the THIRD time. Then off to the tiny theme park, Escape.

Very tiny but rides were pretty thrilling. Was wet all over because of the water games. Much fun. ;)

Pics later.

Sometimes I don't know what I want. My brain tells me one thing but my heart tells me another and it just complicates life cause I listen to my heart, not head. :S

I look shit here ):
Byebye baby ;(

Anyways, I GOT HIGHEST IN CLASS FOR HISTORY AGAIN!! :D:D

75 marks!! I love History. ;D

Off now, xx.

Kimchi,
Sueanne ♀

Shelly's Sweet Sixteen

2009-05-23T07:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BDAY SHELLY DARLING ;)

Shelly's party was GREAT. ;)

My girls, spot me ;)

Spent 45 minutes on those stupid fake eyelashes. Gorg but caused the 3 of us late for the party by 1 1/2 hours. :S

Party was at Grand Hyatt Ballroom@Orchard. Even more grand than all the iU Days. Special MC, Topshop membership as gifts and all that jazz. Had a great time with my friends and the bday girl looked stunning. (:

Even won the table competition. HAHAHA. First time I ever won anything at an event. (:

Let the pictures do the talking. Didn't get to take with everyone I wanted but I did try my best. Cam quality sucksss. D:

I look shit in these pics because of my cam quality. Damnit.

Baoqi (:

Games

Place

...

Xian Xian and Yanyi (:

Yin Lang

Wangyue (:

COMB (: HAHA

Baoqi and Zhang Nan (:

KHM!!! HAHAHA

Wangyue and I 18SX, HAHAHA

The MC

Lilyn (:

Yan Xuan (:

Another Shelly (:

Shelly, SARAH, Lilyn, Me and Yan Xuan ((:

Stage

...

Me, Jeremy, James and Leandre (:

Wineeee

Pretty cupcake (:

HUIMEI and lollipop we won :D

Candlelight (:

Take 2

Take 3

Take 4

...

Baoqi (:

Broken candy

Ciao

After the party went back to a friend's house for sleepover! All 4 of us. Didn't even realize when we fell asleep.

How we slept, hahaha

The pink is me. I look like a tiny foetus. :X

Woke up and had lunch there. Then fell asleep AGAIN. :X Till 6.30pm. Don't know how we fell asleep also. Haha. Woke up and bathed then off to Pizza Hut@Bukit Timah Plaza for dinner. Played pool after dinner and took a cab home.

Lovely (: xxx.

Somebody confessed,
Sueanne ♀

Make me cinderella tonight

2009-05-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

Specky

Skipped school today. I need rest. Going to a friend's house later to get ready for the party.

Was in the camwhoring mood so yeah.

...

:-*

Fatface

Later, xxx.

Effin' hungry,
Sueanne ♀

堅強

2009-05-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

EXAMS FINALLY OVER TODAY. :D

Careless mistakes in Econs and pretty much screwed up Bio. Totally no mood to study this exam. Like nothing could go in. Results sure very bad. Swear am NOT gonna let love interfere with my studies AGAIN, damnit.

Watch me get the grades I SHOULD GET next term.

Went to Orchard with the girls after school today. Bought makeup and fake eyelashes for Shelly darling's bday bash tomorrow ;D Couldn't find the perfect dinner clutch. Gonna HUNT again tomorrowww. Sigh.

Had dinner at MOS Burger. YUMMMMM. Got the present from Body Shop and reached home at 9.50pm.

Gonna sleepover at a friend's house tomorrow and am skipping school so I can watch my Korean dramas tonight. >=)

Its all gonna be okay soon enough, back to normal.

See you peeps tomorrow, xxx.

雖然我還沒有很堅強，還沒有擁有很多人有的那種堅強。可是比起以前，真的堅強多了。

Too beautiful for you,
Sueanne ♀

Lump in my throat

2009-05-20T10:22:00.001-07:00

I just saw something that tore me into a million pieces all over again.

Called up a friend and cried for 5 minutes then got over it and am blogging about it now.

I don't want to focus on the hate, I want to focus on being indifferent.

Deleted and removed every trace and inch and could-be cause of pain, stopped thinking about all the negativity.

This self inflicted injury will only pull be back cause the world moves on no matter what.

Goodnight.

Sueanne ♀

$10 for a piece of paper, MC

2009-05-20T06:43:00.000-07:00

Hello world.

Skipped Sports' Day today.

Went to KAP's McD todaaay with a very very sick friend. Studied there till 4.40pm then off to Tanjong Pagar to collect my dress and eat dinner. I was so hungry I finished 7 pieces of yong tau foo, a bowl of mee siam and one chinese pancake.

Sigh, cheeks fat beyond imagination. And I'm hungry again now. T.T

BIO and ECONS tomorrow. *gulps

Home at 9pm.

Off to watch my Korean dramas now, xxx.

Small gas guys，
Sueanne ♀

VIRUS, SUEYY!

2009-05-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

DAMN SUEY. COM KENA VIRUS. :'(!!

Can't go online or do any shits. Any program I click on Windows Media Player comes up. Must be the shit I dl-ed last night. Why can I come online now? Because I'm using another user. My bro's one. Same com.

To think of how I refused to let him use last time. Now I thank him for configuring everything, even the wireless, nicely. Why my bro com whiz but I so noob? T.T

Gonna repair this when I get back to Msia or next week. Plane ticket for 30th bought. (: 30 mins plane rides still feel weird. Its like one moment on top then suddenly you're down again. @.@

I just realized how ADDICTED I am to the internet. Frustrated and pissed over this. Its become part of my daily life. A habit I cannot seem to stop.

Just realized how UGLY my blog looks on IE since I'm using this user. MOZILLA ONLY.

Gonna get my McD brekkie tomorrow. :DD

NIGHTS, xxx.

I get along with girls but not the guys,
Sueanne ♀

Enough

2009-05-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

I'm having a damned shit time now. HOPEFULLY it'll all be over soon.

THERE'LL BE NO MORE EMBARRASSING SHITS FROM NOW ON. NO MORE SHITS. SERIOUSLY. NO MORE CLUBBING AND SHITS.

I really don't want this life anymore.

Imma be a good girl from now on, for real. Doing pretty good in the single department anyway. A few more tweaks. The haters can continue hating. I won't mention names anymore but focus on myself instead.

Even if the world doesn't have faith in me I can do this. The past shall be put behind. From this moment on, 12.55am 19-5-2009.

Another me,
Sueanne ♀

專屬天使

2009-05-18T06:04:00.000-07:00

HI. :D

I'm in a very good mood today. I've been happy for the past few days. Must be because the MOON isn't on Cancer now. Hmm, told you I was obsessed with horoscopes. ;)

Anyways, had English Compo, Chemistry and History exams today. Did good on all subjects, especially History. Its my fave subject since Form 1 man. Didn't choose Business Studies or Geography but History instead.

The essay tittle was "The Economic Boon in the USA during 1920s was a result of the First World War. How far do you agree with this statement? Explain your answer."

(:

Went to Subway for dinner after school. Embarrassed myself as usual. This time was sticking grass in my hair while acting like a retarded person with my pants high and shirt tucked in. HAHAHA. I just love doing these.

Imma create a TV show next time called “丟人現眼”. ;D

Ate and chatted. Home at 9.45pm. Tomorrow's English Compre and Chinese again. *groans

Thusday is the last day and worst day. BIO and ECONS. Super heavy. :S

Off to study, xxx.

I want it to be this way forever,
Sueanne ♀

Is virginity important?

2009-05-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hey ho. (:

Went to Northpoint@Yishun to study with a friend. Had lunch at Long John Silver's and studied till 7.30pm.

Then off to Causeway Point@Woodlands for dinner. Had MOS Burger and bought Polar sugar rolls. YUMS. ;) Finally got my plastic protective sheets for my many files.

Home at 10.10pm. Am enjoying the night walks from the MRT to the flat. No more bus taking. (:

Hatin' on the club,
Sueanne ♀

The earth is round

2009-05-16T09:10:00.000-07:00

Went with my friends to Heeren@Orchard today to STUDY.

Since Subway downstairs was too cold, we seeked refuge at the open air McD. Yup, had Subway for lunch AGAIN. Today's the last day of their awesome 5.90SGD per meal promo. Sadly.

Studied till 8.15pm then off to Cine's Sudouku (I think its spelled this way) for dinner. Jap pasta. VERY mediocre except for the burgers there. Yummay. Expensive though.

Reached home at 11.50pm.

I'm contented nowadays. Pretty happy, crushing and planning to keep it THAT WAY. (:

Let the rain fall down,
Sueanne ♀

I've gone through ALL the worst breakups a girl could ever experience. believe me

2009-05-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

EXAMS.

Chinese Band A (yeah, I didn't succeed in changing bands before exams) and Maths. Realized my teacher practically gave me all the answers to the exam during Chinese remedial yesterday so yeah confident for Chinese. MATHS SUCKED. Careless and shit or could've gotten an A. ARGH.

Went to Junction 8@Bishan after school to study with a friend. Other friends all went to Orchard to shop for dresses for Shelly darling's grand upcoming party. ;) SO FREE LOR. Leave us both alone to study. Had lunch at Ajisen Ramen and studied till 7pm.

Walked around. Junction 8 is SO like Plaza Sing+Westmall. Reached home at 11.40pm.

Rejected someone today. Am sticking to my no coupling rule. For real this time man, no bullshits.

I'm feeling happy again.

-

I'm soooo obssesed with horoscopes nowadays that I can't NOT go to the horo website for one day.

It has really helped me in understanding people. NOT superstitious, it has proven its worth to me. ;)

THIS IS ME.

巨蟹座女孩(巨蟹座女人)

添加记录:Star Support 星座类别:巨蟹座发布日期:2003.10.15

洋溢爱心的女巨蟹需要忠诚的亲密关系。

　　巨蟹座的女性敏感，容易动心，情绪起伏，喜怒哀乐全写在脸上。她非常地需要亲密感，但是她要的感情不是爆炸性短暂恋爱，而是稳定持久的忠诚伴侣。

　　她对幸福的定义少不了育儿、家庭和母性，所以她的长程目标必定包括婚姻和孩子。无论事业多麽成功，她仍会为缺乏深刻充实的感情而空虚不已。只有爱能令她满心充实地往前冲。

　　不可捉摸、不诚垦的男性让她紧张与不信任。约好通电话或见面却又失约最令她厌恶。她需要的伴侣最好和她一样重视亲密关系和婚姻。他必须充满感情（不单是肉欲）、坚强、随时支援她。此外，忠诚、实在和情感的认定也是不可少的一项特质。

　　巨蟹座的女性应多注意眼前，少担心未来。与人沟通时应力求客观，动感情时最好仰赖自己性格上的优点，而非心中对感情的需要。凡事放松一点，别太认真，以免丧失幽默感。

　　巨蟹座的女性感情脆弱，害怕遭到拒绝，也受不了寂寞和孤立，所以一恋爱就担心好景不常，她通常无法放心地享受眼前的幸福。在老是担心未来的压力下往往趋向费力地捕捉瞬间狂喜。

　　充满爱心与同情的巨蟹座女性，能轻易推开男性的心门。她们在家事上的兴趣责任感与优越能力，能创造出舒适、美丽、极为自由自在的家庭气氛。

Hang in there darling,
Sueanne ♀

EXAMS TOMORROW *gulp

2009-05-14T08:47:00.000-07:00

Today I went to school. Duh.

Boring subjects. Mostly revision since exam's tomorrow!! *gasps. Honestly, I have ZERO CONFIDENCE. I really messed it up this term. SO BAD. With all the shit going on I can't even revise for 30 seconds. I tried my best though so I got some stuff into my brains.

Hopefully it'd be enough. Chinese and MATHS tomorrow. Damn.

Went for Chinese remedial after school today then to the library to revise. Tried to, really I did. Pains me to see myself detoriating like this. I was so efficient last term. Got the results I desired. But now...

:'(

TEENAGERS SHOULD NOT GET INTO RELATIONSHIPS, now I agree.

Anyway, steamboat after library session. At Geylang. 小肥羊~ ^^

Reached home at 9.30pm.

So yesterday,
Sueanne ♀

最熟悉的陌生人

2009-05-13T06:56:00.000-07:00

今天，我跟一個以前對我來説很重要的人絕交了。

第一次愛得肝肠寸断，第一次向一個人要求交往，第一次無法忍受而低下頭要求復合就被拒絕了。

以前的我，會哭的要生要死，會打電話給每一位朋友討安慰，會到處抱怨這個人有多奸、多狠。可是現在，再也不會任性再也不會可憐自己，麻煩別人。只會默默消化所發生的事，努力讓自己忘掉，不再發無謂的白日夢了。

以前的我，會在blog上寫著個人有多自私，有多冷血。也可能會發誓等他一輩子，不氣餒。可是現在，發現寫了再多也沒有用。即使讓全世界知道，又有何用呢？也不會再癡癡等一個人了，因爲那是不可能的。終也會遇到新的對象，終也會有雨果天晴的一天。

時間是可以治療一切的。

這次雖然算不上分手，失戀可是比任何一次的失戀更傷感。因爲是終于在已破碎的友誼上划上句號，變成了不可能認識的陌生人，變成了比街上更陌生的陌生人。可是我不會稀罕也不會讓自己覺得後悔有過那段回憶因爲它讓我更堅強了。不會否認他曾經是我生活裏的重要細節。

很多人說我笨，說我沒事干。可是我覺得這樣說出來比憋在心裏好受多了。我是考慮了很久才會說出口的。我並不是因爲想要個男朋友所以回頭找他。主要的不是跟他復合，而是讓他知道我心裏的話。不想再折磨自己，憋下去。

對我來説，這樣比起之前的心理折磨好。至少我知道他對我的真正看法，至少我現在可以放下心理的石頭，不再亂猜測了。

最後他連這份友誼都不想留下了，或許是覺得我這個朋友不值得交。我也不會勉強他。最後就只當作我們沒有認識過，不留下任何的聯係方式了。

我相信終有一天我這個巨蟹座的會學會獨立、堅強還有腳踏實地。

隨著時間的流逝，回憶也會被沖淡。

再見。

生命中的小插曲，
Sueanne ♀

You took away what was most precious

2009-05-12T18:42:00.000-07:00

Going to school now at 9.45pm. Skipped assembly and mass ex.

LATER, xxx.

-

School was a torture. Well not la. Bio test was bad, didn't study. Chem final part calculations harddd. Went library to study after school but couldn't concentrate because of that WTFZ teacher who won't let me switch bands to Band B. Stupid *TOOT*.

Sigh.

STRESS SIA.

Its getting harder. Thought I was halfway through but now it feels like I'm back to square one. It takes ALL of my willpower not to turn back. Or even try to. Though I seem to be losing the fight now. Tell me how.

-

剛剛才發現我家裏的人都是火象星座，只有我一個人是水象的。爸爸是白羊座，媽媽是射手座，弟弟是獅子座。突然有種自己是外來的的感覺。爲什麽不早生我兩個星期？那我就可以是雙子座了，就不會那麽脆弱，不會那麽包容別人。

可惜我是巨蟹座，只會躲進貝殼裏哭得巨蟹座。

I miss you everyday,
Sueanne ♀

你最近还好吗？

2009-05-11T03:56:00.000-07:00

Have been in Melaka for the past 2 days. Reason for lack of updates.

Melaka's boutiques are so stupid and ignorant. Do they think all shoppers are stupid and lacking in common sense? They mark up some dress's price to RM300+ then give it a 70% "discount" making it seem a whole lot cheaper (RM108) when believe me, I've seen that dress for 20SGD in This Fashion. Thats like RM50 or less.

What bullshit.

Then they sell shoes from Korea/Japan, so they say at RM200+ per pair. Prices ranging up to even RM400. In MELAKA. Even boutiques in KL don't sell shoes that high a price. Certain KL boutiques I know with shoes imported from HK only cost RM90 a pair. Most of the boutiques here in MELAKA cost WAY MORE that boutiques in BANGSAR.

I could use the RM400 to get a pair of way more gorg stilettos from Aldo instead.

Does that make any sense? Hell NO.

Boutiques in Melaka run by Ah Lians/Lala Muis who think they're too good for you are not worth buying from. I suggest everyone stop patronizing these shops. Rubbish.

Pffffft.

-

Msia was boring but relaxing. Managed to finish 2 whole books there. Non-stop reading. All I have to do there anyways.

Funny how all the food in Msia seems to taste better than everything I eat in Spore. Except for my beloved noodles in the canteen la. ;D

-

Posted something in my Wretch. Jangan perasan.

When you're young, every heartbreak seems like the end of the world.
...its NOT♥

So tell me, whats life all about anyway?
Sueanne ♀

Till the bluebirds sing

2009-05-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

Just finished my History essay and powerpoint presentation. Feel more relaxed now. ((:

School again. Was extremely awake - a rare case. Perhaps cause I had enough sleep, something I haven't had in a long time. Teachers and friends are right. I function way better without a relationship. Have been concentrating very well in class and library nowadays. (:

I found the joy in studying again after I lost it, lost my way the past two months. ;)

Though sometimes I miss the euphoric feeling of crushing on someone/talking to my crush. Especially when I see THAT FRIEND so crazily happy over THAT GUY. :P

Reminds me of all the times I had that feeling and that unexplainable joy of finally being with that person. I hope she achieves that too. Good luck baby. (:

Studied till 6pm after school at 2.40pm while my friends were having Chem tuition. I don't enjoy tuition much. I don't go for tuition. Somehow I prefer holing up in the library ALONE, studying. I don't really enjoy study groups unless everyone REALLY studies and not talk.

Subway@Rail Mall for dinner AGAIN with the girls after studying. Reached home at 9pm.

Am going back to Msia, grandma's house at Melaka tomorrow. Not KL. Monday's a holiday and instead of wasting more money in Orchard/Bugis/whatever on Saturday and Sunday I've decided to go to that hot, boring kampung with a load of books and study material.

I need a break from certain things that are somehow still bugging me.

Exams next week, I NEED TO CHANGE TO BAND B FOR CHINESE. Or my whole percentage will DROP because of stupid *toot* toot* TOOT* CHINESE again. Work so hard for nothing then cause of one stubborn teacher. I'm not CHINA/TAIWAN/HK for God's sake. LET ME GO, ugh.

Gonna pack now, xxx.

So near yet so damned FAR♥

Teenage love has no happy endings,
Sueanne ♀

Steal a star from the skies just for me

2009-05-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BDAY COMB!

Hahaha. (:

Woke up at 5.30am. Damn. Reached school at 7.30am. School only starts at 8am FYI. Urghh, stupid detention.

Class test during Chem and Maths. Full confidence in both tests :D I think Imma get FULL marks for Maths. Matrices, easy peasy. Skipped CCA as usual. Last CCA for this term. Yeay.

Went to McDs with a friend instead to study and do the History PPT presentation. Subway for dinner again. Addicts. Hahaha.

Home at 8.30pm.

Dead tired, off to bed now.

Nights, xxx.

Wheel of life,
Sueanne ♀

The smile on my face is genuine :D

2009-05-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

HI.

STUPID TRAFFIC JAM. Caused me to be late by 20 mins. Was supposed to be in school by 7.30am. Only got there at 7.50am and decipline teacher can't understand I live so DAMNED FAR away. Woke up at 5.30am. So tomorrow I have to be there at 7.30am and WASTE TIME again. ):

Stupid rainy mornings. )):

School was so so. Went to the sick bay to sleep during Econs and took early leave form and skipped PE. Can't swim anyway. Menses here. Grr.

Went to Suntec@City Hall after school with a bunch of girlfs. Hunting for dresses for this ball-like bday party we're invited to. Ohh, the pranks we play. So damned funny. HAHAHA. ;D

Reached home at 9.30pm because of the stupid bus. Gonna sleep now cause of the stupid thing tomorrow. >=(

I just realized that certain exes are cowards♥

Yeahhhhhh, xxx. ;)

Make me smile :DD,
Sueanne ♀

Its not me, its not you, its fate

2009-05-05T06:17:00.000-07:00

Heyy. (:

School. Skipped Mass Exercise. Tried to sleep through principal's assembly. God, Tuesdays are always such a waste of time. No wonder so many people skip Tuesdays. Got confused during Chemistry and talked through Bio cause its so damned easy. Amylase, protease, blergh. ;)

Library after school till 3.40pm cause librarian wasn't there so early closing. So me and my friend went to an empty classroom, on the aircon and studied till 6pm. We were waiting for the friends in Art to finish their lesson at 6pm. Then all 5 of us went dinner-ing at Subway. (:

Reached home at 8.45pm. Am gonna sleep soon at 10pm cause I needa be in school by 7.30am tomorrow, meaning that I have to wake up by 5.30am. All because of my constant tardiness and no show for detention. Zzz.

I know 2 people who have feelings for each other but who can never be together. When I was younger, I always thought people like these as stupid to let love slip away like that. But now I understand why things are that way and I can't help but feel the pity and sadness♥

Some things are just not meant to be,
Sueanne ♀

Cracking my head on the cold bathroom walls

2009-05-04T05:59:00.000-07:00

Hello. (:

Got home at 3pm today. School ended at 1.10pm and I came home straight. Watched HSM. I have this sudden urge to finish HSM series after watching 17 Again and frankly, it SUCKS. Its like some cheap Disney production. :S

School was school. Skipped recess and went to the sick bay to sleep. Hype about swine flu going on. Principle just set a thousand million precautions which is gonna make life tougher.

People are asking me whether I have the disease since my other nickname is 小猪 (small pig, HAHA).

.______.

Slept from 6pm till 9pm.

I feel embarassed now because I sent a long mushy message to someone late last night when I don't even like him that much. I really have nothing to do sometimes. :|

It has always been the other one and would remain that way for a long time.

I'm all out of faith,
Sueanne ♀

Watch me, I bite

2009-05-03T20:52:00.000-07:00

I'm PISSED right now. Extremely pissed. Mainly at my family who're too ignorant about me but think they know EVERYTHING about me and my EVERY MOVE. I hate people who think they know/understand everything so well when in reality they're just a bunch of douchebags living in SELF DENIAL. Family is NOT an exception. Pfffft.

Though I'm not pissed enough to break my pact and write in detail of why am I pissed.

Though I can tell you one thing. If I don't succeed in life one day, it wouldn't be because I didn't get the straight As, the letters of recommendation, the great essay required for college entrance and all the other qualifications needed. It would be because of MY SCHOOL LIFE BEING SCREWED BY MY MEDDLESOME FAMILY.

Yeah.

Some friends are being REALLY ANNOYING lately. I'm a good listener but don't dish me ALL your dirt again and again and AGAIN. Especially at times when I MYSELF have problems. GO AWAY.

Damnit.

-

Going out for study group thingy now at McDs. Gonna bring my laptop and finish that damned essay.

Bye.

-

ESSAY DONE. :D

A total of 1436 words. Not the longest essay I've ever written but the most boring one. What world food supplies, what famine, what food distribution. Ugh. :S

I had a terrible flu just now. Couldn't stop sneezing, till the whole mall was looking at me. But it has pretty much cleared up now. NO, I DO NOT HAVE SWINE FLU. Spore doesn't seem to be infected, YET.

._____.

Need to see some goddamned face again tomorrow. Why can't you vanish from the face of earth already?

Tsk, waste of space.

Shtup&fckoff,
Sueanne ♀

You make my skin crawl

2009-05-02T21:25:00.000-07:00

Outfit for the day

Hey hey (:

Haaaaaa, am going out now. ;)

Random pics from yesterday. (:

Yesterday

LATER, xx.

-

Back. :D

Went Cineleisure@ Orchard AGAIN. Spore IS boring. Watched Claustrophobia. Hk film. SUPER BORING and I didn't understand the film in the end so yeah. .____.

Then off to Suntec@City Hall for dinner. Couldn't decide what to eat. Finally settled with Pepper Quick Lunch. Yummms. Wolfed down my portion in less than 10 mins. HAHA. :D

Played truth or dare again. Damn high. Shopped around till 10.45pm then went home. Reached home ONE MINUTE BEFORE 12pm. ;)

ONE MONTH TO JUNE HOLS.

I miss you people, xxx. (:

Send me the lovebeads baby,
Sueanne ♀

LABOUR DAY :D

2009-05-01T10:43:00.001-07:00

Its Labour Day. HOLIDAY. :D

Went out with a friend who's leaving for Aussie soon ): to Cineleisure@Orchard. Watched 17 again AGAIN since she wanted to, haha. Still melted my heart. And I'm beginning to dislike Zac Efron less now.

Then off to Far East Plaza@Orchard to meet up with another bunch of friends after she left. Bumped into a girl I strongly dislike. Second time bumping into her outside of school. Even in school I see her ALL THE TIME. Funny how we always meet people we don't wanna see but not the ones we yearn to see. :S

Bought 2 belts. I lost few of my belts!! ):

Had Subway for dinner AGAIN. Thanks to someone. Also had my fave O Ah Mee Sua before that, ahhh. (:

Reached home at 12.20pm.

Friggin' sleepy now. Gonna roll off to bed now. Nights. :-*

Happy till I see your fckfce again,
Sueanne ♀

Life boring and rountine but safe

2009-04-30T01:46:00.002-07:00

Woke up at the ungodly hour of 5.30am today because I had to reach school to serve detention at 7.30am. EARLY morning traffic is wonderful. Reached school by 7am. Miracle. Only took me one hour.

Discipline teacher didn't come until 7.50 WTF. Woke up so early for nothing. I live so damned far.

School. History, Chemistry, Econs, Maths, Bio. Everything seemed more boring than usual today. :\

Skipped CCA as usual. I hate netball. If Mr.Sim doesn't let me change to Martial Arts I simply can't bring myself to stand under the hot sun and watch a bunch of girls play ball.

Came home straight today instead of library-ing or dinner-ing out. Too tired. Reached home at 4.15pm. :D

-

Can't explain my hatred to girls who try too hard to climb to the top of the social laddder. Pointless and they think no one can see through them. Zzz. Stupid wannabes and fugly shits.

Damn obssesed with horoscopes nowadays. I find it helps you to understand someone so much better. If only I was this deep into this then. Don't tell me its bullshit cause I've seen so many cases that proves the authencity of horoscopes. Not 100% but definitely 85% and above.

I'm a Cancer btw, weak.

Going to read my books, watch my dramas and CONTINUE THAT DAMNED ESSAY now. Cause its rare I'm back home so early. Good to have so much rest time for myself. (:

I wish you dropped dead and never come back,
Sueanne ♀

I can almost see the sunlight

2009-04-29T06:01:00.000-07:00

School.

Talked through Chinese. Had a LOT to eat during recess (you can now see my double chin even when I don't press it but body remains thin). Maths then Econs. Got all correct for price elasticity of demand chapter :D Wrote a narrative for English. Another full bowl of noodles during recess.

Last period was PE, swimming. I wanted to swim SO badly. Even brought my stuff. But I forgot to bring my towel and most importantly, sunblock. So yeah. ):

Went library after school. Finished Maths and History homework. FYI, I CANNOT study at home because of this computer. Then went to Subway with 3 friends for dinner. Chatted and reached home at 8.30pm. (:

Yup, I had a good day.

I HAVE A 600 WORD RESEARCH ESSAY TO WRITE FOR BIO ABOUT WORLD FAMINE, UNEVEN FOOD DISTRIBUTION. DUE 5TH OF MAY.

SAVE ME. D:

-

I'm still getting spammers in my tagbox. Haha. But am very glad to see the usual anonymous-es still here. Good to know support is still there.

Why did I name this blog survivor? Because my spirit's still strong. (:

RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH,
Sueanne ♀

SURVIVOR

2009-04-28T05:18:00.000-07:00

This is my new blog. (:

WHY? Details in the "site" part of my navigations.

Long story short, too many changes have happened, too many promises broken, too many commitments shattered to keep the old blog. Too public and too revealing. Impressions last a long time, bring you a long way.

Blogging is not as harmless as it seems. But because I love it, I have to continue. By the proper way this time. (:

Am not trying to erase the past. Or I wouldn't have painfully drafted each post one by one for the sake of keeping all the posts in my old blog under the sueanne-suaini URL. Its just starting a new chapter.

I am single.

& I plan to stay that way for REAL this time, for the sake of my mental welfare.

A new chapter♥

Put it all behind,
Sueanne ♀